Are we grateful because we are happy or are we happy because we are grateful? Most of my life, I thought it was the former. When I was happy, I would be grateful for whatever had happened to make me happy. The issue with this is that I am looking for something external, something I don’t control to make me happy. This TED Talk by David Steindl Rast changed my perspective. TED Talk
He makes the case that we are happy when we are grateful. And what triggers gratitude is a gift of high value, freely giving with no strings attached. And that is what each and every day is. Nothing has higher value than life and it is giving to us freely to do with what we will. Just tapping into this, really feeling it, makes me smile. I have a gift of immense value that I am unwrapping today. Today. Today. I start each day with this realization. I list and journal 5 items that I am grateful for in my life, with a focus on the previous day and what I want to do with today. I also end each day with discussing with my wife what we are each grateful for from the day. This anchors gratitude on both ends of my day.
After years of practicing gratitude in this way, my life is much happier in two ways. In the short term, my perspective changes each time I focus on what I am grateful for and that makes me happier in the moment. Secondly, the cumulative effect of that over the last few years shows in the “facts of my life” too not just in my perspective. The most obvious effect is on the relationships with my immediate family and how that, in turn, effects the total environment of my life. This was on full display yesterday as we prepared Thanksgiving dinner for 11 at our home. Years ago, hosting was quite stressful. First, I was stressed and wanted everything to be perfect. This energy negatively affected other. And my relationships with my kids were not nearly as good as today, so I spent a lot of time chasing them to help and then feeling bad if they didn’t. The gratitude I have been practicing the last years has made me much easier going, dramatically improving the relationships with my children so it is fun for them to work together with us now.
This was on full display yesterday and for that, I am truly grateful. Our day was perfectly imperfect and so much fun.
Be grateful for the wonderful gift of today and every day and see how that slowly transforms your entire life.
Have a great Thanksgiving weekend,
Art
