After such a wonderful week and weekend last week, this week has been very hard. I have had several days where I felt depressed. It is not just sad, but when everything looks gray and feels hopeless. Things that normally make me happy, the beautiful weather, running out doors, even connecting with my family, didn’t. I even had a hard time tapping into gratitude during my morning and evening practices. It finally shifted on Thursday morning with the use of three tools. The first is to look at my situation in third person, to observe it from a distance. When I was doing my morning feeling check in and I was feeling depression, I suddenly had the thought, “There is Art feeling depressed again. Look at that. That is interesting. Hmm.” I was very different from the previous thoughts, “I am depressed. Why am I depressed? I have a great life. What is wrong with me?” Just that shift, lifted the gray cloud and I could see clearly it was just something I was feeling and not me. I could still have a great day. The second tool I used is how I connect to gratitude. When I was struggling to connect it was always things that had happened in the past. So, instead I brought myself into this very moment right now and asked what I was grateful for right now. The soft warm blanket on my knees. The feeling of strength I have in my body right now. The beauty outside my window at this moment. That reconnected me with the ability to feel gratitude. Then I could feel real gratitude for the the hug I got from my son yesterday and the fun I had mountain biking with friends earlier. Connecting to the present moment and what I was grateful for right then, especially physical sensations in my body, allowed me to feel gratitude for other things, to re-open the channel. The third, was talking it through with someone. I felt embarrassed to admit I felt this way as everything looks so perfect in my life. So I didn’t want to talk to anyone. And I still talked to my wife about it and one other friend. Just being seen in it lifts the burden and stops the loneliness. It helps.
The biggest shift I experienced was by observing it from a distance. If you are experience any strong emotion that you would like to let go of, whether it is frustration, sadness, anger, depression, or shame, see if you can distance yourself from it. Take a step back and observe it like it is a movie playing on a screen. Change your pronouns from first to third person. It certainly helped me this week.
Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!
Art
PS: Thanks for all the comments about the 100th Friday Reflections. Good to know you are reading and finding value.
#depression #intensefeelings #observingfeelings #connection #gratitude #changingmindset #loneliness
