Friday Reflections #108 – Asking for Help

In America we celebrate rugged individualism! We love the story of the person who pulled themselves up from rags to riches. We applaud those that step up and take on heroic challenges and seem to overcome them on their own. We congratulate those who figure it out alone, learning from personal experience. But that is not the smartest way. We can learn much better and faster from someone else’s expertise, if we are willing to ask for help. Asking for help benefits us and others in many ways. Here are a few examples. When I ask for help, I invite others into connection and community. Seeking advice or input makes others feel seen and feel better towards me. A few weeks ago, I had an idea for a Peer Advisor Community, and we held our first meeting this week. It was better than I expected and we started to create a sense of community and support. Afterward I was starting to feel the weight of all the things I needed to do to make it great. But actually, the first thing I will do is ask for help from the other members. Many of them have strengths that cover my weaknesses, so we will have a much better group if I ask for help.

Many studies have shown that decisions made by groups are better than ones made alone. Asking for help creates better results. And it can keep the project on track. Robyn Benincasa, multi time Eco Challenge champion, tells the story of asking for help from the men on her team to carry her pack part of the way and how she felt guilty for it. The one who carried her pack explained the benefit of her asking this way. “I can carry your pack and mine, but I can’t carry you.” If she had carried her pack too long, she would have boinked and the whole team would have stopped. By asking for help, she was actually helping the team. This is just as true in the office. If you are getting overwhelmed on a project, asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but one that will help the whole team perform better. We often don’t ask for help for fear of looking bad, which is driven by the ego. So not asking for help is thinking we are better than others. After stepping away from my automotive career, I could see clearly how many times I took on too much, driven by thinking I could do it better than others, which is ego, and not what was best for team performance. This is a common mistake in parenting, where parents are better and doing many things than their children, but if they don’t ask for help, and do it all themselves, the children never learn to do those things, the parents burn out and society suffers.

Whether in personal life or work, ask first “Who should do this?”, not “How should I do this?” Then ask that person. Even if you are the right person, look around to experts to learn from their experience. You will learn faster, create a better result, and likely develop a friend all at the same time. Remember the goals is to improve not to prove, and asking for help is one of the simplest ways to improve and be more connected.

Where is one area you need to ask for help but haven’t been willing to? Jot it down and make that ask now.

Have a great weekend,

Art

#help #askingforhelp #ego #learning #overwhelm #teamperformance #decisionmaking #community #connection #parenting

Search

Contact Us

Information

Share Now

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
WhatsApp