The last week I have been having tremendous experiences! Really enjoying the beautiful fall weather and time with my family. It started on the weekend when we celebrated my son’s 20th birthday on the 20th at my 52nd birthday on the 22nd. We had a wonderful time eating outdoors at fabulous local restaurant. At one point it struck me: this was having the exact kind of celebration and connection with family that I always dreamed about but never really thought was possible. It was just the five of us, my wife and three kids, but everybody was in a great spirits, there was no tension of any kind, lots of love, fun, and laughter as we enjoyed this delicious food. It was a peak experience!
This experiencing life, started to come the fore last Thursday and really hit me yesterday when I was taking a phone call while walking around barefoot in the backyard. The sun was warm on my shoulders and the grass was alternating from cool and damp in the shade to warm and dry in the sun. The trees around me were bursting with yellows, reds, and greens. Our youngest dog was sprinting playfully around me and I was holding a very meaningful conversation on the phone. I was fully present. Earlier that morning I had chosen to enjoy a slow breakfast on the back deck instead of hurrying to my long to do list. On Sunday, my daughter asked if I could take her Tuesday on a university visit to where my son is currently attending. It would take most of my day and my first internal reactions was “No! I have too much to do, to much to accomplish and you can’t ask me at this last moment and expect me to drop everything and go.” Then I thought out it. I love the experience of being with my daughter and visiting my son and driving, especially when at this beautiful time of year, and walking around that beautiful campus. She reminded me of all of that as well so we went and had a wonderful time. Life is really fantastic when I enjoy these moments in the beautiful weather, having dinner with my family, driving my daughter with the windows down, resting, when I am tired, running in the park, savoring my bites of food, readings, or talking with my wife as we run errands. These are all small experiences, but they feel great and I am happy when I allow myself to be present with them. But often, I feel guilty for not doing more on my list and this gets in the way of being present. My list is always much longer than what I get done. Wanting to get this list done, feeling I should be doing something else, something “significant” continues to drive me more than I want to acknowledge. Yes, I am not driven by wanting to be CEO any more, but I have moved that ambition to my book and podcast and my consulting company. That was a big aha yesterday.
Then last night I awoke with this thought running through my head as it had once before. “Life is not big monument to be built, but an awesome adventure to be experienced!” So true. If you love the experience of building a monument, great, do that and enjoy that adventure. But it is not to have the monument, but to experience it’s building. What we want is to be happy. “A happy life is merely a succession of happy moments, but most people forego the happy moments in pursuit of a happy life.” I am committed to experiencing the happy moments and my task is to know have the cloud of what I should be doing instead hanging over my head as well. Yes, I didn’t write Friday reflections last week as I “should” have. But I did have a wonderful Friday with my son and in laws and out enjoying he great weather. And I am now enjoying writing this one for this week.
Enjoy the moments of your life. Lean into what brings awe, beauty, wonder and love. Be present to those happy moments. And continue to work on what is meaningful for you and enjoy those moments too. If it starts to feel like you “have” to do it, take a step back. Go “for a walk in the warm grass barefoot” and remember why you are doing it and enjoy the process or go do something else.
Allow the happy moments that make a happy life.
Have a great weekend!
Art
