Talking with a new friend this week, I was reflecting on the moment I realized that difficult things are not bad. Before that moment, if I had had a difficult day at work and my wife asked me how my day was, I would have answer, “I had a bad day.” After that, I have said, it was a hard day, or a tough day. That pivotal moment was November 2013. I was at mile 17 of the Shanghai marathon. I was the first cold snap in Shanghai and was right around freezing with a strong wind and some drizzle. On top of that, the air quality was horrible as the whole city had just started their coal home heaters for the first time of the season. I had worn a mask to protect myself from the air pollution, but it was now clogged up, so I took it off. My hands and ears were very cold and my body was starting to feel cold all the way through as I had dressed for the temp but not the wind and rain. I said to myself, ‘This is very hard!” And the thought popped into my head, “Yes, it is hard, but still not bad, in fact, I would still say it was a good day, even with this very tough challenge.” From that moment on, I have been able to separate tough, difficult, or challenging events or days from bad events or days.
Eckhart Tolle talks about this too in a slightly different way. He says our purpose is to do whatever is in front of us to do, walking up the stairs, talking with a customer, tucking in our child, at this moment and to do it with joy or at least acceptance. If what we are doing is very difficult, running a marathon in those conditions, or changing a tire on the side of the road at night in a rainstorm, we might not be able to enjoy it, but we must at least accept this is what we are doing right now, or simply not do it. We must bring joy to what we are doing, or at least acceptance, or stop it and do something else.
James Clear had another way of saying this recently. “What do I need to do today and how can I have the most fun doing it?” It is so empowering to realize I have the chose to accept or even enjoy everything I get to do or to choose something else.
Choose a great weekend!
All the best,
Art
