This week has been hard. I have been tired and sad. When digging into the sadness it was coming from three things. Missing the purpose I found in my career. Being tired. And thinking about my middle son moving away to college next week. Being tired, I address much like last week by resting more, which worked great. And my son moving to college is a good sadness, as we have such a close relationship and I know this is the right step for him. There is a sweetness there. Nothing to fix or change at all. Missing my purpose has been a little tougher. My career made me feel special, different, interesting and I hate to admit it, a little bit superior. And I have missed all of that. When making small talk during my career, I would drop lines like, “yes, I just landing from China last night” and “I was in Stockholm all week” and somehow that maybe me feel better about myself. In the last few weeks, I noticed I was replacing that with my athletic training and events. “Yes, I am training for this event. I just ran this marathon with these conditions.” That also made me feel like I was enough, feel better about myself. But this type of striving, of always feeling like I have to measure up or being doing something significant is also very stressful and tiring. It takes me out of the present and reduces my chance to really connect with others. When reflecting on this with my therapist, he said for me to stop trying to be special and to make others feel special instead. Great advice that has helped me focus on the other, whether that is my kids, wife or the person cutting my hair. It is OK to not be special. There is nothing we must or can earn. As Brene Brown says, “Love and belonging are our birthright!” It is not something we gain by trying to be special, especially in comparison to others. She expands on it, “When we get it that love and belonging are our birth right, then anything is possible.” We don’t have to do extraordinary things to be special, to belong, to be loved, it is a birth right. I am giving myself permission to stop trying so hard and just be. I recommend you give yourself that permission too. From that place we can create anything, not be enough, but because it is what juices us.
Have a great weekend,
Art
