I was back in Detroit this week for the first time in a long time. It was great to re-connect with friends and colleagues I hadn’t seen, some since Covid. As I was having dinner with a group of friends, or talking late into the night one on one, I really savored the experience in a way I hadn’t before. I really loved listen to their stories and plans with no thought of response or anything besides giving my full attention to that person right now. This brought great connection and a deep sense of presence and joy. I felt that all was right in my world when I was giving my attention purely to a friend. Friendships are something I have not done as well as I would like in my life and am changing that now. Talking with friends always makes me feel better, especially if I am down or depressed. And I found the exquisite joy of LISTENTING to friends this week as well. (Thank you for your time this week!) And now the largest and longest human wellbeing study in the world confirms what I was feeling.
The results of which are shared in the book, The Good Life, by Robert Waldinger and March Schulz (The Good Life). These authors crashed into my life this week via podcasts and the WSJ and I am glad they did. The one over-arching take-away from this study of thousands of lives over 3 generations, is that good relationships make for a good life. Not money! Not title. Not fame. Not accomplishment. Nothing else has as much impact on our overall wellbeing and joy than good relationships. So, for all of us over-achievers out there, we can now feel good about investing in relationships with friends and family. We can feel good about feeling good. Just like heath or financial fitness, we can focus on our social fitness and know we are investing in the one thing that will bring the most joy to us over the longest period. And if we are doing things at the expense of our relationships, we know we are detracting from our long-term wellbeing. So add a relationships section to your to-do list. Mine currently has three sections, Personal, Relationship, and Professional. And I usually do them in that order to ensure you don’t push out the first two with the ever-demanding Professional.
Since I am not so good at it yet, what is your best advice for building and flourishing friendships? Take some time this weekend to plan for time with friends and to enjoy time with friends.
Enjoy your weekend,
Art
