It comes up all the time. At work, a team members come to me with a problem, and I ask what they think is the solution. At home, one of my kids is struggling with how to improve a sport or skill or with a faltering relationship. I ask each of them what they think is their next step. Or when I was asking my self what to write for Friday Reflections today, the answer is the same, “I don’t know!” So what do you do when you don’t know what to do? Simply ask yourself this, “If I did know what to do, what would I do?” It opens up a different part of the brain to new possibilities instead of being stuck in the “I don’t know” loop. And it works just as well at home as it does at work. My daughter, “I don’t know what to do about this.” “Ok,” I answer, “What would you do if you did know what to do?” STRANGE LOOK from her….and then her eyes sparkle and she smiles. She has a new idea. I remember when I was given my first big manufacturing job and I didn’t know what to do. I asked my mentor. He said, you need to do something and you need to choose it. If you did know, what would you do? I instantly had a 4-point plan to fix the situation. It wasn’t the “perfect plan,” but it was timely and it works very well. Or today, at lunch, I was thinking “I don’t know what to write for Friday Reflections.” And this came to me, “Ok, but what would you write if you did know? Easy, I thought, I would write about what to do when I don’t know what to do. It came to me that fast.
Next time you get stuck, ask yourself what you would do if you did know what to do and see the magic work. Same approach with both your colleagues and your family. My kids have sometimes said, “That is why I am coming to you dad, since I don’t know.” But I just ask them again, and after 2 or 3 times then usually come up with a good suggestion. If not, of course we can work it out together.
What are times you have used this in the past? How has it worked? What is something you you are stuck on right now? Ask yourself what you would do if you knew what to do. What changed? Do you have some good ideas now?
I hope so!
Have a great weekend,
Art