We have all heard it said that you can’t tell if an action was good or bad until you know the intention. It is true! The last two weeks, I have been reflecting on that. In Recovery, we say you are either run by Higher Power or by your personality defects. I see that every day in my own actions. It is not possible to have the right action when in the wrong heart space, when being run by my personality defects. I tried today, when I was asked to help, and I did it but grumbling the whole time about why they couldn’t manage it themselves. I was being resentful of being pulled into something I thought was “their job.” I did manage to help with that action but did more damage to the relationship than it was worth for the help. Brene Brown is right whey she says, “If you will resent it later, don’t do that action now.” If I feel that I am going to be resentful (personality defect) be courageous enough to say no now. Or change my space to one of “joy to support” and help and then say yes. No matter what I do, whether it is managing a major restructuring or wrapping a Christmas present, where my heart is when I do it is what counts. If I am angry or resentful, it will poison me and the results. If I am in a loving and joyful space, the results will sparkle. Even if I fail at the action, if my heart was in the right place, if I was being run by Higher Power, I can rest easy and I will not have damaged relationships, which are much more important than discrete actions.
This is especially true in the holiday season when we are all a little extra busy and stressed and most of us feel we “should be perfect” and accommodating to everyone, especially family. Stop and check in with your heart before acting. Is it open? Joyous? Accepting? Loving? Or is it resentful? Angry? Hurt? If the latter, stop and don’t do it.
Here’s to you and yours keeping your hearts in the right space to enjoy a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a connected and joyous New Year!
Thanks for reading!
Art
#heartspace #joy #resentment #courageousconversations #intention
