We hear it a lot. Keep your heart open. But what does that mean? I have had a great week. And I think it is largely because I have kept my heart open and recognized quickly when I started to close it. Here are the things I have noticed. First is how I keep my heart open toward myself, having the courage to go for the life that I desire, to plan and do those things that inspire me, even if I fear they will disappoint someone else. In reading Bronnie Ware’s writings on the regrets of the dying this week, it shows the top regret is not living a life true to ourselves, but one others expected of us. The big step I took this week is getting agreement from my family to through-hike the Appalachian Trail next year. This requires me to have my heart open to me and not be codependent. I love my family wholeheartedly and I am not dependent on them for me to be OK and it is not my job to make them happy either. That is an inside job.
All of my children are all home for the summer, and one didn’t do their chores again even after missing the day before and promising it would be done. I felt my heart closing and was stern with them, which didn’t help. Reflecting on it later, I realized keeping my heart open, being curious, and asking for what I wanted without anger would have worked better.
A of one of my kids wants to buy a car again, his 4th one in 5 years. I felt my heart closing thinking of selling another car and losing more money and all the “told you so’s” I had in mind from the previous 3 cars. Then I stopped, took a few deep breaths, and looked at the data. Including all the buying and selling for him, his cars have lost less value in that time than the others in the family. My heart re-opened. I want to be generous as well. It feels better. He was quick to point out that we had a great time working on and buying and selling these cars together. Very true. Keeping warm, generous, loving thoughts toward him was open-hearted instead of the frustration I had started to let close my heart. We had a good time test-driving cars and the one he has in mind now is fun and reliable and low operating costs and could last him 10 years.
Finally, and most importantly, is keeping our heart completely open to each moment we are living. This means I am not triggered by any old traumas or patterns and simply grateful for the moments that I have been given. I can respond to them cleanly, not react based on triggers. I don’t feel like I must control the outcome. It means being curious instead of critical or controlling. There is so much freedom in that and it’s exhilarating instead of heavy and tiring. Michael Singer’s book, Living Untethered, is a great reminder of that. In this space, I can follow where Life is leading and enjoy it without fear for the future. That is where I have lived this week, and it has been so much fun even if I didn’t get everything on my list done.
How do you keep your heart open? What does that mean to you? How do you know when it is closing?
Whatever you are doing this weekend, keep your heart open. It lets the love out and the joy in.
Have a great weekend,
Art
#openhearted #wholehearted #family #love #inspiration #fun #curiousnotcritical #children
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