Yesterday, I was writing my morning pages, when my cousin was also talking to me. I asked me to allow me to focus on my journaling and he wandered away. It felt hard and sad to ask someone I love to leave. I felt like I was shunning him. I love myself and need this time alone. He loves me too and wants what is best for me, so it is not shunning him. It is loving and taking care of myself, which he would also want. By me making this uncomfortable request, I am helping him care for me, which he really wants to do.
The most important message of Jesus is to love God and then love others as you love yourself. Before you can love your neighbors, spouse, children, friends, parents, siblings and colleagues well, you must love yourself. If you don’t love yourself well, loving them as you love yourself would not be good for them. You wouldn’t love them well either. As painful as it feels sometimes to ask for alone time, for rest, for delights you need to care for you, this is the start of caring for others. Asking my cousin to allow me to focus on my morning pages brought up sadness for me, as I felt like I was being rude, was not loving him. The critics voice came up at once, “You know he drove all the way here to spend time with you and you are asking him to leave you alone? What kind of person are you?” I am a person that knows doing my journaling is good for me. It makes me calm, focused, clear, centered and loving. It makes me a better cousin and friend. These 30 minutes alone will make the many hours we spent together later today much more enjoyable for him too. That’s what kind of person I am. Thank you very much Critic.
If you find yourself being rude, grumpy, or short-tempered with those around you, pause and ask yourself what you need that you are not getting. Is it rest? Food? Is it connection? Downtime? Ask each of your four dimensions, your body, mind, emotions, and spiritual self. Wait for the answer and then give it to yourself. See how much better you feel and how much better you are to those around you. If you are tired, take a 20-minute rest. Twenty minutes of rest can change the balance of my day from a forced march of obligation to joy and connection, not just for me, but those around me too.
First, love and connect to God, your Higher Power, or whatever you call it, and then take care of yourself. Love yourself without apology. It is the best thing you can do for those around you as well. Without your self love, you have nothing to love them with.
Now go out and live your adventure! And start by loving yourself.
Have a great weekend,
Art
#selfcare #love #selflove #lovingothers #obligation #joy