The greatest gift we can give another human being is the purity of our attention. This quote is attributed to Richard Moss. I have repeated it many times because it is true. But the purity of attention is given less and less today in the hyper-speed, hyper-distracted culture. A recent study showed that even having a silenced and upside-down phone in view when two people are talking, will keep the conversation at a shallower level than if it is not there. Our attention is divided, so we can’t give it purely to another person. What are we giving our attention to? I experienced this week what millions already know: Reels. Reels of any kind, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, are designed to grab and hold our attention, like a car wreck on a loop. I had never looked at Reels before this week and when I started, the next time I noticed the clock, 3 hours had passed, and I was missing my very important sleep. Two things jumped out at me. First, how addictive it is. I knew I needed to sleep and couldn’t turn my head away from the “car wreck.” The second is how fast and limiting the algorithm is. I Liked several videos of transformation experts, but the videos were short, so I didn’t spend much time there. I did get hooked by this one husband and wife comedian pair and a young man who played any song for strangers on the street. Since I spent longer on these two videos, within very short order, those two were the only two showing up in my feed. There were no more transformation experts. It helped hold my attention but made me realize how myopic my world view would become if I spent much time here. This is taking our attention expertly, instantly, and addictively so that we are not able to give the greatest gift to the ones we love most.
What to do about it? Take phones out of the room, or at least shut them off completely AND have them out of sight when you are connecting with other people. Never bring them to the meal table, especially if you are sharing that meal with those most important to you. Leave it out of the bedroom so you can get good sleep and connection. Have a friend set daily time limits on those apps with a password you don’t know.
Have you experienced this? What has worked for you to stop this incredibly addictive attention black hole? This weekend let’s take back our attention and give 100% of it to those that are most important to us when we are with them. That is the highest gift we can give. Reels is not a good relationship.
Have a great weekend, where you focus the purity of your attention on what is most important to you,
Art
#addiction #attention #humanconnection #lovedones
